One happy girl

Why? Because I actually have to admit and type this: I got haircut today and then every just seemed right with the world.

I have a long history with my hair. I alway wanted long flowing Catherine Zeta-Jones hair. Many years ago I went to a stylist named Robert (pronounced like the Colbert Report). He would was also a painter and lived downtown and I'd have a margarita while he cut my hair. He was very gay and was a victim of a horrible hate crime and spent 4 months in ICU. He couldn't cut hair again because of the damage to his motor skills. So I needed a new guy. I love men who cut hair, they just love your hair more than should be legal. The salon gave me a new guy and the short story is that he had masacred my hair. Oh, yeah, and I was nine months pregnant.

Finally two years years later, I had achieved the Catherine Zeta-Jones hair. It was lovely. Then I got divorced and lobbed it all off. We're talking at least 6 inches of hair. I went back to my natural color, too. I did it because my ex-husband loves long hair so much and that I knew I had lost so much of myself in that damn marriage that I couldn't remember if I even liked long hair. Stupid but necessary move. Turns out I like it. It looks much better on me. But, I've spent the last 9 months or so not quite looking like me.

Today, Jennifer, stylist I love so much, spun me around and when I saw my new hair, I almost cried. It has grown quite a bit but it has always looked a little off because it looks like I'm been growing it out. Finally, for the first time in 9 months, I looked like me.  I gasped. I did. I looked pretty. And more than that, I looked happy. And I really noticed it. I looked right there and happy just stared back at me.

I left the salon on my way to get my daughter. Found a great song on the radio and just sang real loudly, smiling the while way. At a stoplight I actually looked around and thought about my life. Everything in it. Everything not in it. Everything I've made happen for myself and everything I've just let happen. Damn it, it just felt good.