Almost everything

I got a receipt in the mail today for the stuff I donated for our Junior League rummage sale. I ended up with $212.50 in quota this means that they are estimating that it will bring in $425. At rummage sale prices, that's a lot of stuff. It was mostly my daughter's clothes and a bunch of baby blankets.

I had to go through the boxes and I was glad I did as I found some blankets and such I would NOT want to give away. I tucked those back away and put everything else out. I kept everything my mother made. She made a few of the sweetest little baby sweaters and two little tiny hats. My intention, I guess, is to give them to my daughter so she can have them for her kid.

I keep looking around at a bunch of her stuff and get mixed feeling as to what to do. I had no problem getting rid of the baby stuff like high chairs and strollers and baby bouncey things. That's all disposable and if there ever was another kid in my life, fully replaceable. Better, though, not to have a garage full of stuff for the possibility of a someday. But, I sat on her bed tonight and watched her ride her too small rocking horse. I thought to move it outside and add it to the charity pile. I don't think it will get out there. I just can't put everything out there.

One of the hardest parts of getting divorced with a small child is that you still have all their stuff arond because you kept it thinking there would be a little brother or sister. That thought gets quite damaged. I just can't bring myself to keep everything under the assumption of that someday. I'm on the fence about wanting to have another child because, frankly, I'm not sure I can entertain the idea. It sounds nice but if I kept the stuff around it would lean much more toward it being a concrete possibility. I can't put money that horse. But, the rocking horse I am keeping.