Hell isn't this hot

In case you've ever wanted to know why we Phoenicians drive with oven mitts, I'll show you.

Equipped with my latest gadget, the Mastercool (ha!) 52224-SP Infrared Thermometer with Laser, I set out this afternoon to perform a battery of tests. According to AZ Central, the outdoor temp at the time I performed such tests was 105 degrees. That's hot. As Eugene Jerome would say, it's "African hot. Tarzan couldn't take this kinda hot. Brooklyn never got this hot." That ain't nothin'.

According to my scientific equipment, the following temperatures were registered in my car, a 2004 Charcoal Gray Chevy Trailblazer EXT:

The dashboard of my car is the hottest place in the vehicle registering a smoldering 187.9 degress as shown below:

The actual steering wheel was slightly cooler 173.4 degrees:

The armrest of my car was, by far, the coolest place I tested as a downright chilly 143 degrees on the nose:

 

Just out of curiosity (oh why no, eh?) the handle of my car was a little on the toasty side:

By the way, I take no blame for the randomness of these tests or the fact that I own an infrared thermometer. It's not my fault. It's ALton Brown's fault. He had to go flaunting one of these bad boys on Good Eats. Thanks Alton. And, no, you have certainly not seen the last of the infrared thermometer! More to come...

Comments

[Larissa]

Oh Alton Brown, how I heart thee.

I want a thermometer to play with too. I'm going to try to will one into existence. If it doesn't work in 15 minutes though I'm going to eat my Subway sandwich and watch Miss Teen USA with my Tween. Don't tell anyone I said that.

[Catherine]

mmmm Alton. How do I love thee?

[CaroG]

Damn.... that's too hot!!!

[welby]

Just so I can get a baseline in my own mind: do you leave your auto's windows cracked at all? I usually think that accounts for about twenty degrees, and I'm wondering whether to add or subtract from the measurements you've taken...