Holy Gregor Samsa, Batman!

My house is like some weird Kafka nightmare. There is a fly in my house that that is probably here in hiding because the folks at Sky Harbor were getting pissed about it interferring with flight patterns. The thing is huge and certainly flying below the hard deck. Ghostrider is ignoring that the flight pattern is all full. This is bad enough, but Chicken Wing, the Siamese Cat of Doom, is trying to catch the fucker. Unfortunately, my bed seems to be the hub of all this activity. I'm being trampled by an 8 lb. animal. She thinks it's cute. Me, not so much.

The 108 lb. animal in the house, my exceptionally wide yellow lab created the problem by ripping the dog door off the wall trying to get through after a hearty Kibbles and Bits dinner. Sealing the house up has not been easy. The door has been replaced but I'm still trying to kill all kinds of bugs. It's been a problem, as you may remember my incident with SPIDER EYE, an occurrence almost as annoying as a CORNEAL ABRASION.

The pest control guy comes tomorrow to finish ridding my house of unwanted guests. Thank God. And, if I ever see the morons who installed the first dog door, they will get a stern talking to. What? I'm a lover, not a fighter... They did the world's worst job on installing a dog door. I managed to get in a weather proof, double door flabbed, energy efficient turbo dog door. I went all out on this thing guided by Handy Manny, my favorite Home Depot employee from Brooklyn. Mind you, I have no idea how many other employees at Home Depot are from Brooklyn, but if there are more than one, Manny is my favorite. Previous homeowners used two by fours and a couple of screws and a flap. Nice.

As hermetically sealed as my house may now be, I'm still tackling the current invaders. Basically, I can't sleep as every three seconds I am sure I am being landed on, dive bombed, crawled on, bitten or stung by something with many more legs than I have. I've seen the Wrath of Khan and I'm scared. I have just been laying here slapping myself. Laugh all you want. I'm not going to bed until that big ass fly is dead. DEAD, I tell you!

Comments

[Becky]

I love that cartoon. I wanna steal it.