Martha gets me

I have undertaken a large project to go through years of magazines and clippings and figure out why I'm keeping them and then figure out what to do with them. It has occurred to me that I have been a reader of Martha Stewart's for about 10 years. Really. I love her long time. And I have realized why. She gets me.

As I went through a gazillion of her magazines, lots of them holiday editions, one thing became apparent. She is a huge list maker. Oh does that bitch love a good checklist. I am not sure at this point who has shaped the chronic list maker side of me more - my mother or Martha.

I think it was the Christmas 2005 issue that clearly showed me how amazing the lists were and how I am one with Martha. This woman had an entire checklist, for four weeks leading up to Christmas, that detail just what you should be doing each week. My God! I can only aspire to such organized list making anal retentiveness! She is my damn hero! And, on top of that, each week had its own list that took up approximately 1/4 of the page so you could clip it out and keep it handy at all times. You can bet your sweet ass I would have that thing laminated so I could not only cross things off the list with a dry erase pen, but I could wipe it clean and reuse it the following year! Holy shit. It makes me just giddy with the excitement of it all.

The list was lovely. The first week had such great suggestions as getting your cards and your postage ready for sending. Whoda thunk it? I have, on numerous occasions, gotten a whole variety of items ready to mail, way ahead of schedule and completely fallen down on the job when the postage comes in to play. I once had a bag, a bag mind you, of 52 unmailed Christmas cards. No longer! I have a checklist.

Wait. Wait. It gets better. Her lists allow you to cross reference! The list reminds you to make your shopping list for Christmas dinner! Genius.  I love when my lists have lists. See, this is how I roll. I start planning Christmas in early November. As a matter of fact, I went with my mom this evening to go get the first of my Christmas decorating items. It's for garland.

I understand that this is an illness. I do. I am sure there is some kind of medication out there that would rid me of my complusive need to lists and spreadsheets and flowcharts. I care not. Look at where it got Martha. I mean, besides jail. I don't think she put that on a checklist. Reorganize sewing thread. Check. Trim back rose bushes. Check. Find creative use for cardamom seeds that doesn't include cooking. Check. Go to jail for insider trading. Check. So, really, I think I'm just fine as I am. 

Comments

[Omyword!]

Years ago I made one of her projects for Halloween dinner. I bound together little 4-inch sprigs of rosemary, thyme and oregano (??) into little witch's brooms to set beside each plate. They were to be used to brush melted butter (and herb droppings) all over the corn cobs. sigh. That's about as Martha Stewart as I ever or will ever get again.

I know a use for cardamom seeds: grind one with your coffee beans for flavored coffee one morning. I learned that from an Iranian buddy.

OK, back to being totally useless in the kitchen.

[delmer]

This past Saturday I mailed boxes to my sister in TN and my brother in VA.

I'd 'aged' them in my office for a few weeks, yet, I paid a bit more in postage so they'd get delivered in three days instead of five.

[kellypea]

Unbelievable. I have every Martha magazine edition starting from autumn 1991...She is the reason I obsess about having labeled things. And the cooking? Well...Martha does live at my house. I'm a goner.

[robert bourne]

my first ex was a Martha Stewart clone...I drove her very close to the nutty house...I have vowed to avoid those types at all costs...so far I have been successful...:):):):):):)