Plug the damn plug already!

I am paralyzed because I don't speak geek. I just don't and it's beginning to have a serious effect on my life.

Mind you, I speak my own special kind of geek. It's that literary geek where I feel the need to randomly throw out a reference to the Odyssey, laugh to myself because I find it hilarious, and then realize no one is laughing with me. Of course, I think this makes me charming. This is because I find it absolutely charming when other people do it so the same should work for me. Right? Yes ma'am.

I have spoken to my complete lack of technical knowledge of anything, well, technical, several times. It's getting bad. I have no idea what to do about it. Last week, my phone just stopped ringing. It wasn't on silent. I knew this because the damn thing made that "bing bing" noise every time I got an email. I get about 80 emails a day so my office sounds like a Circle K. So my phone was binging away but the only time I knew I was getting a call was if I happened to be holding the damn phone. I sat there for 10 minutes trying to troubleshoot the piece of crap before handing it to my trusty sidekick who was able to fix the problem in 30 seconds. See? Bad.

Do you think I might just have a mental block? Am I not programmed for this? Is there a missing gene? I need some answers here. I can understand very involved theories and ideas. I'm no idiot. I read A Brief History of Time. I read an entire book on mathematics and how they relate to Chaos Theory. No problem. It all made sense. But, I am too afraid to move my TiVo to my bedroom so I can watch football on the big TV and still TiVo Desperate Housewives and all the Bobby Flay goodness I need to. Why, you ask? Because I will fuck up the re-installation. I will do this even after I spend and hour and a half on the phone with the TiVo tech support people begging them to talk to me like I'm a blond 4th grader.

I need help. When I spend over an hour trying to understand how to put a simple little icon on my blog and fail miserably over and over and over again, it's time to either fix the issue or throw in the towel completely and resign to being like those old ladies that never uses the microwave because she can't figure out how to make it work by pressing 3 buttons. That's going to be me. I'd bet a floral housecoat on it.

Comments

[delmer]

My 14-year old got his hands on my phone and made a change so that when I took a photo it sounded like a monkey. He did this in something like 10 seconds.

It took me weeks to get it back to making a shutter-clicking noise.

[Vanessa]

Oh that's funny. Yep, you may be that special kind of stupid too! But, at least we're stupid in good company.

[Lotus]

Ah, somehow I was gifted with that special technical thingy-whatsit-hooser. I am completely inept at behaving appropriately in social situations, as an exhange.
There is always a balance. ;-)

[kellypea]

I absolutely hate unplugging and plugging in fussy techno crap. H.A.T.E it. I can do it, and it works, but why do I have to be the one? But I can't retrieve the messages on my cell phone. Sad, huh?