Never thought I'd say it

I miss my old house. I miss that damn house I wanted to sell so freaking bad I couldn't stand it. I never thought those words would come out of my mouth, especially this close to the holidays.

That house was supposed to serve two functions. It was supposed to be my dream home and fix my marriage. I can tell you, it wasn't my dream home but it was damn close. It was large, over 3100 sq. ft. I designed the backyard myself and it was gorgeous. It had a panoramic desert view. The kitchen was perfect. All stainless KitchenAid appliances including a double oven. I finally had the wood rail staircase I always wanted. The master bedroom was huge and had plenty of room for a reading chair. My daughter had a nice big playroom.

There was one thing missing. It had no warm and no love. I tried damn near everything from Chirstmas decorations to homemade curtains. It never quite felt like home. It never fixed my marriage. I was so sure that the minute I got my own home the whole thing would come together. It'd be perfect and it would be my dream home on sheer principle because it was all mine.

Sadly, it's like the jeans you try on and they fit perfect and they are going to be your new favorite jeans but then you wash them and all bets are off. I'm not sure how that analogy makes sense but in my world it does. It's a nice little house. But.... my shower is way too small. I can barely shave my legs without contorting. I miss my double ovens. Bad. I can't believe that I just sometimes forget I don't have them. But.... It's mine and I own it. Happiness lives here because that's how I want it. No one can take that away and no one can rain on that parade.

I'm sure the two can be foundin the same place but I've never seen it happen. I'm certain that I can find a place is all that I want in both realms. And, if any of you tell me I can't have it all, there will be some serious reckoning to do. I'm trying to refi my house right now and they asked how long I'd be here. I told them 5 years max. He asked how I knew that. I just told him this place wasn't it. I like to very well but I had three weeks to find it. I'm hoping the next 5 years finds the best of both worlds. 

Comments

[islaygirl]

yes, yes and yes. i was missing my old house the other day, the one i bought for the same reasons as you did yours. sigh.