My philosophy for 2008

Kate and I had many a hair-brained idea. This time last year we had convinced ourselves that other people would laugh at our lives so it would be best if we put pen to paper and accounted for it. This came about after Kate had what could be considered the most bizarre first date ever. I can't even begin to explain that date. Neither could she, but it was funny. Dating in general was a rather entertaining endeavor and she convinced me that in order to share her pain and be able to write good solid material, I would have to start dating. I was up for anything that makes good fodder for writing material.

She convinced me even further by telling me all about this book she read about a woman's "year of yes." This lady went out with anyone and everyone that happened to ask her out regardless of whether they were her type,unattractive, male or even homeless. It was her learning experience. I have thought long and hard about that writer and her undertaking and have milled many things over in my mind. I have been inspired by such a concept. So, I would like to officially declare 2008 my "year of no." That's right. No.

This year, if I am asked out on a date, my answer is no. I will say it nicely. I may utter it as, "No, thank you." I may offer no explanation at all. Just no. I have shared this thought with a few friends and they think I am bat-shit crazy. Frankly, I don't care. I like my philosophy. It's not out of bitterness or anger or anything else it's just no. One little word. They are quick to point out that this closes me off to opportunity. I'm okay with that. "Opportunity may only knock once," they say. In this case, if opportunity wants in, opportunity it is going to have to knock, then ring the bell, then go around the house and to the back door and knock there. Opportunity may have to engage in breaking and entering.

I have also decided that this extends past dating. I am way too accomodating. I am the girl you go to if you need something done because I am going to say yes. The most stressful part of my year has been my involvement in the Junior League. I said yes when I should not have. A decision I deeply regret and I can't wait until April when I cane with the committee I so woefully agreed to chair. They will ask me to do it again and I will look them straight in the eye, smile, and say, "No." I can guarandamntee you it will feel good.

This year, I am not going to feel obligated to do a damn thing. If I do something, it's going to be because I want to. I will not feel guilt. I understand the whole idea tat if you don't do for others, when you need someone no one will be there. Let me just say that there are plenty of things I have said yes to in the past that I like just fine. I will foster those and not take on anything else that isn't exactly in line with where I am. This is so liberating I can't even stand it.

I was going to write a whole bunch of New Years Resolutions but I think this just about covers everything. No. This is my year of no.

Comments

[Kelly O]

"No" is a way more powerful word than "yes" in my personal opinion. As women, we're taught to be accomodating, to work hard to please, and to always keep a door open or a hand extended, even when it seems like the last thing we should do.

It's not like you're saying "no" to everything that may happen to cross your path this year. You're just not saying "yes" to it all. That wears you out and steals your joy in so many insidious ways.

You've got my support. I would like to hope I could be as choosy when doing things this year.

[Catherine]

Wooohooo! Good for you.

I thought of this when I read the blog:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QEwNGgNXr9U

No can actually be quite powerful and positive.

[John]

How refreshing. A woman that says "no" when asked out on a date.