One thing down. Check.

I went hiking today for the first time in a long time. It made me feel very good though I couldn't fully enjoy it as I brought the dog with me and he was quite the distraction. I could only go so far as the incline was really rocky and he couldn't do it. Poor Charlie. But, I'm heading out again next Sunday and plan to make it a regular Sunday activity. I'm so excited about it and I don't remember the last time I was really excited about anything, so this is good. There are dozens and dozens of trails near me and I want to see as many as I can. What a better way to stay in shape, spend good alone time and reflection at the top of a mountain sounds so delightful to me.

On the topic of not being excited about something, I have made the decision to not only pass on chairing this committee for the Junior League next year but I'm freezing my membership. I'm not quitting flat out. I can put it all on hold and go back someday if I want to and not have to start over. I have been reflecting a lot on the past year. I have been very stressed out, frustrated, tired and unhappy. I have determined that the Junior League is the biggest influence on this. I don't enjoy it at all. It's not for me.

I know a lot of people get a good amount of enjoyment out of it and that's great. Just not me. I agreed to chair this committee because I was flattered that the asked, interested in opportunities it might bring and, more than anything, I felt obligated. As this is my year of no, I can't do anything anymore because I feel obligated to. I don't want to feel like I "should" do something. Should is a four letter word. The only thing I should be doing right now is trying to find my happy. I want my happy back.

I'm looking for peace. I'm not going to find peace in a group of 350 women, half of which are not there for the love of civic involvement but merely to add something to their resume. It has drained me and taken way too much of my time and energy. I need to gain more time and energy right now so I'm in no position to give it.

I have a number of other organizations I'm involved in and I'm keeping them. I was asked to serve on a Board for a leadership organization I was part of last year. I jumped at that chance. That group has given back to me ten fold. They are like family and I feel good whenever I do anything in connection to them. Last year, they were so much a part of my center. I learned so much about myself and they are a group that truly makes you feel loved, respected and appreciated. I need much more of that.

Now, at this point, it's a waiting game for early April to get here. I have never bitten at the bit so much to quit something but I have to tell you the mere thought of not having to go to headquarters once a week, a membership meeting once a month, a council meeting once a month, and a committee meeting once a month makes my spirit kind of soar. I want cookbooks out of the back of my car. I just want to be done. I want my life back. 

Comments

[Monique]

Organizations have a way of sucking you in. You say yes to one thing and next thing you know, you're running the place. Good for you for saying no and taking back some of your time!

[Nicole]

Here the JL is just so that you can say you are in JL. It matters that people see you there. I am proud of you for saying NO.

[Sarah]

You'll love it when its over. I loved my time in the League. I am a first year sustainer and I haven't missed it once. Granted, all my good friends have or are also sustaining.

[Keli]

I think it's very wise of you on both accounts: the weekly hike and demoting the Jr League. I was in a similar organization and recently opted out and I'm afraid I don't miss it one bit. If it doesn't make you satisfied or happy, it's time to move on.