My solid place as a domestic goddess

I have always been exceptionally domestic. This puzzles many people that first meet me as there is a thick cloud of snarkiness that enveils me at all times. So basically, I'll bake you brownies but if you don't like them, I'll kick your ass. Wanna come over for dessert?

I've made several moves in solidifying myself as a solid domestic goddess. Mind you, this does not mean there will be a kindler gentler Vanessa running around out there. I quite enjoy mixing sass and serenity. Case in point: I bought the MOST darling apron you will ever see in your entire life.

I have been using your standard white bib apron for years now. This is a fine choice but, I'll tell you, my mom uses her mother's apron and mine just pales in comparison. Is it weird that of all the things that could be handed down to me that I don't care about my mothers vast amount of jewelry? I want the damn apron! It's scared, I'm sure in some weird Italian way. Anyway, I digress. Let me tell you about what I bought online last night.

It's a little ditty designed by a lady named Jessie Steele. I'm certain she's no relationship to Danielle but I've not researched it. I don't want any indication of the contray to tarnish our love. I can't wait for it to show up. I got it on sale. Look! I'm a thrifty cooking fashionista! It's a light pink bib apron with black trim, delicate little black bows on the pockets and and tiny Eiffel Towers all over it. Perfect for baking and listening to Edith Piaf. As soon as it arrives at my house, I will be dropping everything and immediately begin making absurd amounts of strawberry jam.

There implications to an apron that fabulous. It is not to be reckoned with. This is not simply something that you throw on over your jammies with your hair a mess. It deserves some respect and I can't imagine that I could utilizes this without curling my hair in the very least. It only seems proper.

Comments

[Broadway Matron]

You are out of your freakin' mind!

P.S. My apron says - "There's no such thing as too much garlic"

[A Word To The Wise]

Don't be stupid, go for the jewelry!

As always, this is, "a word TO the wise, NOT a word FROM the wise.".

[Deanna]

I totally want that apron when you die.