I am a jackass of epic proportions

Today, I took embarrassing myself to a whole new level.

Last night I wrote what I thought was a pithy little blog post for our local newspaper's online edition. They, like complete fools, give me creative liberty to write about whatever I want in whatever manner I see fit. I could write my whole blog in haiku if I want. They don't edit at all.

I proofread the damn thing about 14 times and hit submit. All was well until about 1:45pm today when I get an email from the editor. I had mentioned supporting something wholeheartedly. The email reads:

"Unfortunate typo in your blog.

'It's a practive I support WHOREheartedly.'"

I gasped. I drew all of the air out of my body and shot back a reply of only two words in all caps: OH SHIT!

This is bad news. Very bad news! I immediately rush right over to the website to change this as fast as I can, praying Robert is messing with me. He would do that, he has an evil streak for sure. I log in, click the edit button, fit it all up and I exhale for the first time since opening that stupid email.

Just to be sure I'm safe I double check the content in a view setting. Yep. It's changed. When I re-read the first paragraph, and whole new kind of irony hits me. I supported something WHOREheartedly in a blog on "above and beyond" services the new W hotel will provide. Great. I've used hotel and whore in the same paragraph.

Oh and it gets better. I realize what exactly I am supporting. The original paragraph ran as such:

"I am the first to admit I am all for decadence. I highly encourage it. It's a practice I support WHOREheartedly."

Excellent. At least I appear to be a decadent whore. I'm a whore who feasts on steak and lobster. I'm a fancy whore.

Then I head back to the main page for the section. I gasp. Again. Guess whose blog they decided to feature right at the top of the list smack dab in the middle of the page? Oh yes. They did. All day today this little gem (the snippet was so kind as to cut off right after my typo) ran with my name and a lovely picture of me next to it.

This is certainly worse than the time that the same editor decided to run my post about the FBR Open being a meat market in print with the headline of "Mating As a Sport." Today makes it the second time in 18 months that I have had to call up my mother and tell her, "Mom, regardless of what is written in the paper, I am not a whore."

Comments

[Nicole]

Well at least you are a high class whore and not just a Happy Meal whore. Plus all your friends already knew that about you.

[emilyb]

The use of the word whore was a marketing tool to drive google traffic.