Oh now THIS is what I need

The last few weeks have been so utterly stressful. I am wound up tighter than $2 watch. I have been trying to gain some kind of balance. Having the girls over on Friday for a nice dinner and some wine on the patio was nice. But, between getting the house ready, slicing my finger wide open 5 minutes before my guests' arrival, getting dinner together and getting my daughter to bed, I never really got a chance to wind down enough to really get relaxed.

It takes me a long time to wind down. My brain is just a flurry of activity and getting it shut down takes effort. I am in a place where that just needs to happen more. Plain and simple. Oddly this should be very easy as I know exactly what chills me out. It's a matter of sitting still long enough and letting it happen.

Tonight, I went over and spent some time reading my darling friend Deanna's blog. Oh, how Deanna gets me. She is a great centering point. I can't tell you how many times I have just been feeling a little...something. Either she offers me words or a laugh and I feel instantaneously better. Simply put, she puts a smile on my face. Tonight, as I was poking aroundon her blog, I checked out some of her links and clicked on Hip Tranquil Chick. Deanna and our friend Kelly and have been singing this lady's praises for years and I just never made it over to her website. Very dumb. I love this woman.

In one of her entries, she tells of doing a three day hip tranquil retreat. She offers up how to do a little mini retreat at home. I thought about writing her and pledging my love to her for it. I am going to spend the rest of my week getting everything done I need to have in order so I can spend part of my weekend doing nothing but relaxing. I am going to clean my house top to bottom. Fold all necessary laundry that is way over due. If my house is not pretty, I can't muster up the relaxation. Then I'm doing to dive in and do al the things I WANT to do.

In Austin, Kristin brought me Gabriel Garcia Marquez's Memoirs of My Melancholy Whores, of which I have read four lines and it is intoxicating. I think I am going to read the whole damn thing cover to cover. While listening to Chopin. I may plant all new annuals in the planter in the back yard. I will sit on the patio for quite a while. I am going to fix myself something easy and fabulous for dinner. I may sit and sip champagne just because I can. I'll spend some time knitting. I may pick up my guitar. I may take a girlish stab at writing. I may take a long hot bath. I may paint my nails. I will wash every linen in my house so I can eventually fall asleep on clean, crisp, fresh, white sheets.

I will not: turn on the tv, put on a movie, answer my phone (even if it is my mother), or connect to the internet. It's time to head to the cave, if not for just 8 hours.

Comments

[Kelly O]

The HTC blog is a daily must-read for me, V. It never ceases to amaze me how spot-on some of her writing is for me, just on the day that I need to see it. And I completely agree that Deanna is such a calming center for me, hers is usually the first blog I read each day.

Creating a space for tranquility has become my raison d'etre since being stuck at home all the time. It really is helping provide some clarity, and if nothing else bringing order to the chaos and helping focus my thoughts. And dangit I will find a place for some leopard print and pink in my life!

[halfy]

"intoxicating" is a great word for that book. i love his style and the way his writing translates. i'm glad you like it as well as i have. and let's collectively thanks Dear Deanna for passing it on to me to begin with!

[The Accidental Housewife]

Thanks Vanessa for reminding me to find some tranquility. I hope you enjoy yours. It is insane how fast life can become chaotic and overtake our good sense and intentions. We all need to step back ad regroup from time to tim.

[Deanna]

I knew my ears were burning for a reason. You make me smile too, Van. (Is it wrong that you mentioned having the girls over for dinner and my first thought was, "WAAAAAAAAAAH! Why do I live so far away?")