A Room of One's Own

Got a spare $137,000?

Usually the Sunday blog is done in my pajamas, coffee in hand, fabulous music blaring, happy feeling all around. Today's Sunday blog is done from work. It's beautiful outside, it's Sunday, I'm in the office trying to balance a 4 million dollar budget and it ain't pretty. I am $137,000 short right now. If you care to donate it, please let me know, I can make all necessary arrangements.

Sadly, this is a whole lot better than sitting in my very unhappy home. If that unhappy home does not sell real soon, I may be spending the better part of the holiday season in a straight jacket.

On a related note: I am already sick of Christmas music. It needs to just go away. I have NO Christmas spirit. I refuse to acknowledge Christmas this year and here's why: I don't do any half assed. Nothing. If something is worth doing, I will pour my heart and soul into it. I won't be able to do Christmas how I'd like to. I can't go all out. And if I can't do that, it's not worth doing. Does that make sense?

One fine day

Today was most likely one of the best and strangest Thanksgiving's I've had.

Any day during which I get to see the Rockettes perform in a parade at Herald's Square is a good one. Really, I remember when I was a kid I wanted to be a Rockette. I think I still do. The Macy's Day Parade is the pinnacle of my holiday season. Sadly, it happens at the beginning of the season so everything else has to live up to that. Very hard to do, but A Christmas Story contends well.

I sat on my couch until noon when I finally got way more motivated than a girl who had eggs, sausage, biscuits and gravy for breakfast should ever be. I went for a run. Maybe if I burn a slew of calories before eating massive amounts of starches, it would be okay? That must have been what I was thinking.

Showered, blew another hair dryer, and headed to Shari's. Yep. This is the first Thanksgiving I have ever spent with out "family." Do not get me wrong, Shari is like family. But, still it was a thought that entered my head that needed to be gotten used to. My parents are in Mexico. My sister and brother-in-law were supposed to be in Mexico but had to cancel and decided to go to a friends house. My 90 year old grandmother decided to be anti-social. I had a great time though. The food was excellent, the company was divine, there was no parental squabbling and no passive aggressive pot shots from a mother-in-law. All in all. Fabulous time. And doing dishes to the blues was the perfect ending.

The Great Pumpkin

Halloween just became a big contender for my favorite holiday. This time last year, I moved into a new neighborhood and have not met many people at all. Our street seems desolate on any given day. Except tonight.

I took my 2 year old, dressed as Little Red Riding Hood, around to half of my neighbors. Whoever had their light on. She rang the doorbell herself and and I watched her give out big smiles and blurt out the official Halloween greeting. She tried to give her candy to some people. She likes to share. At first, she didn't quite get that she was there to collect candy. It made me laugh. Almost about as hard as her bossing all the kids in the neighborhood around telling them which house to go to and what to do. Like they didn't know. They need her instructions, of course.

She cracked me up as she insisted, after her trick or treating was done, that she pass out the candy we had. She had to question each kid as to what they liked to make sure they got what they want. "You like this one? Oh, okay!" Plunk, into the bag. My Gawd, she's funny. She shouted across the street to our neighbor, who dressed as a dalmation, "Hey!! Hey Puppy!! It's ME!" then waved like a maniac. She has so much Jean Louise Finch in her it's almost too much to take.

But, the street was full of kids. People were in their driveways with hot chocolate, coffee or wine. Parents were having a blast, forget the kids! It felt good. It felt like a neighborhood should. I just can't get a grasp on why we don't have this all the time. Why we need a holiday. Maybe it's that the whole focus of the day is on kids and watching their absolute wonder, that it just feels happy. There's such a sentimentality to Halloween. Tonight, I think I may have waded way out into it and just stood there a while.

I could fall over

I am THAT tired. Our realtor held an open house today so I left the house at 8 am. I just got home. That is a long time when you consider I had a toddler with me the whole time.

We went to a pumpkin carving party, Nana and Papa's, the costume store and then to a Halloween carnival my work did. My daughter was Little Red Riding Hood. Man, does that girl love to twirl around. She's painfully cute and sometimes just plain painful. I am going to go crawl in her bed in a minute to remind myself that there are times when toddlers are really easy: when they have totally crashed. I'm certain I'll wake up there in a few hours because I, myself, totally crash.

If I could bottle her energy, people would line up around the corner, cash in hand, to buy the stuff. That is, if I decided to share.

Oh, and, or course, no bites on the house...

I cannot let this happen.

It's just occurred to me that if my house does not sell within the next two weeks, there may be no Christmas at my house. This would be a travesty. I love Christmas. I mean, I really love it.

The first week in December, I break out the egg nog, Christmas music and decorations and seriously go to town. I go all out. And, mind you, it's none of that crappy fake nativity scene or weird random Thomas Kinkade-esque diorama of some ice skating scene. I am in love with my decorations, they are that pretty. Yes, I am shamelessly bragging.

Just thinking about decorating my house for the holidays makes me really happy. I have no idea what I'm going to do if it just doesn't get to happen. I'll be sitting in my living room watching the special on the decorating of the White House (which, to someone like me, is a dangerous show) and crying into my egg nog.

Please, for the love of God, someone buy my house.

117 more days!

Until what? Christmas. I am already counting the days until Christmas. Last year, Christmas kind of sucked. The husband had to work. His family was in town for several days. His sister never helped with a damn thing. I had to invite my best friend over to keep me from killing people. I made a fabulous dinner, which I think was kind of lost on them. I am my father's daughter. If I make you food, I want audible evidence that you love it.

But, I'm optimistic! This Christmas is going to be so completely different given current circumstances. Not quite sure how yet. But, I can't begin to tell you how much I love Christmas. I love everything about it. Last year, I bought garland for my stairway. It was gorgeous. I enjoy making a huge production of decorating the tree. Christmas music going, getting loopy on the 'nog or some good red wine. I love that it's cold outside. I love that everything sparkles. I love that they show A Christmas Story all day on Christmas Day. I love wrapping presents.

Mostly though, I love the cooking. I love spending three days in my kitchen making absurd amounts of food. And the cookies. Oh Gawd, the cookies. Really, that's what I'm counting down to. I'm not kidding when I say that I drifted off to sleep last night lying in my bed thinking about what cookies I was going to make this Christmas. It's sick. I know.